August 24, 2009
Me first: Losing our values
Posted in Mental Health tagged apathy, courtesy, cultural values, culture, ego-centricity, illusions, introspect, responsibility, social empathy, values at 11:56 am by Dr. Samir Parikh
If one closely observed the changing times, changing cultural values, I am sure one would be tempted to introspect. What crossed my mind today was the loss of the simple courtesy of our culture; “Pahle Aap (you first)”. How the polite, compassionate you first has become me, me and only me every time!
Look around.
On traffic crossings, one would se so many of us trying to get first, more often than not with some danger to someone or the other.
In car parks, you would see another territorial tendency of mankind manifested in a very similar manner.
In queues, be it bus, train, or for that matter to catch a flight, for a film ticket. One would see more and more people actually believe that either others are invisible, or that ones own self is supreme!
This list can go on and on. It’s just for us to find ourselves on this list, and introspect
Introspect. Social empathy, and more so responsibility, has been replaced by apathy, and ego-centricity.
I wonder what are we passing on to the next generations, and I wonder what would our future be. Would it be a compassionate collective society or a millions of individuals all fighting for their egocentric space and illusions?
I wonder, would we realize the slow decay of our values, or one day we would just wake up to a stark scary reality, a reality that we would have gifted our children?
Ask yourself; who is first?
You; or your child?
And if your answer is child, then pass your child values, of our culture.
Harry Palmer said,
September 11, 2010 at 1:45 pm
A lot more ‘I’ and a lot less ‘we’. It’s not only us but also the British who are ruing the fact. I have been raised in Delhi and have observed it at close quarters (the so called posh south delhi). taking into account the history of the place, there are a few thoughts I would like to share without any offence meant to anyone. What I am going to say are mere observations and interpretations on the part of a 26 year old.
I believe the reason for Delhi becoming as rude as it has is due to its ‘Punjabisation’. and Punjabisation not in the positive sense. Punjabis as a people are quite boisterous, friendly (overtly) and like to live life to the fullest. Being the loudest of all they also tend to be heard most and thus end up being perceived as representatives. Throughout the course of history, Punjab has been invaded a lot (being on the border as it is). This has perhaps lead to a feeling of distrust of everyone else which has probably been transferred into the psyche of generation after generation.
The other point is that Delhi actually HAS become a city of immigrants. The Punjabi refugees, babus from Bihar and UP, Expats and the businessmen (who go anywhere the business takes them. I believe the aggression was initiated on the part of the Punjabi Refugees (from partition). They came and contrary to popular belief most of them brought large amounts of their wealth with them. Here they were given further sops based on the perception that they need support. They, having seen ?massive wealth back in Pakistan, changed their value of life to money and they stooped to levels unheard of in order to ewarn it. Their anger at having been driven away from their erstwhile homes and not being accorded their previous (perceived) status turned them into very aggressive territorial persons.
One could perhaps go on and on..
All the above may not be true but there is one thing which, I believe, would be agreed upon by all. The acceptance in the media and society, of the belief that ends justify the means. Every movie based on a con-job being successful, retribution through violence with the perpetrators getting away scott free and the incredulous opulence displayed in the movies and TV serials raises peoples’ aspirations making them even more accepting of the ‘ ends justify the means’ adage. Voyeuristic programmes and channels on the life of the rich and the apparently famous raise the aspirations further.
Raised asopirations alongwith the inability to fulfil them leads to frustration making the people even more aggressive. what is known in Hindi as “99 ka pher”
Anupama Ahlawat said,
September 3, 2009 at 6:12 am
“Pehle Aap” … I believe I haven’t heard and observed that around me. And because of this loss of cultural values most of the problems are coming up. Everyday we hear about the accidents and death is because when it comes to traffic, it is “Pehle Main” not “Pehle Aap”.
I could not trust my eyes when the same thing happened in “Naina Devi Mandir” last year and people died as well in the race of “Pehle Main”. If such an incident can happen then social empathy and responsibility really lacks in the society. This is the last place where one can forget the concept of “Pehle Aap”
Mimansa said,
August 26, 2009 at 8:25 pm
I feel we all are infected with low self esteems which keeps coming out in our actions or behaviours be it small or big hence there arise a strong need to inflate it by putting one’s self over the another. I feel that with changing values our self concepts are also changing. This “ahamkar” is leading us towards destructive society and i agree that we all need to have some insight into ourselves.
anasexperiences said,
August 25, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Enjoyed the piece.
In fact the culture of Pehle Aap is now a relic of a bygone era, which was a lot relaxed and gentle. In today’s world everybody is in a mad rush to achieve more and stay ahead.
Things have come to such a pass that ‘pahle aap’ is now associated with the losers in our society. It has somehow become the hallmark of those less driven!!!
Pria Singh said,
August 24, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Selfish nature has deep rooted in the minds of morden people.It is partly because the society is such.We all want to be a part of it and if one begins phele aap then the people around you try and find a hidden meaning behind you being nice.
its true we are losing our values and thats going to worsen.
Its everywhere from politicians to publice servants,from parents to children.
We all our forgetting the contributors behind our success and running away.
We all our just bothered about our rights and care not about our duties.
i wonder why do we complain but never think of our responsibility of being considerate..atleast a little
Isha Singh said,
August 24, 2009 at 1:36 pm
If only we would have true and complete insight into our own selves. And when it comes to change, we would say “me first”, and change our own selves before we wait for others to change; so this is one place where NO “pahle aap”!